Posted by: bullyforme | June 25, 2009

Yeah, I eat that.

I will be the first one to admit that I don’t always act my age and also that I’m not the most traditional of people. But some of my favorite things are just downright embarrassing to admit. I may as well get them out in the open, because I’m a firm believer in the “you can’t fire me if I quit first” philosophy. In other words, if I broadcast my weirdness(es), it can’t be used as blackmail later in life. snort!

1) Nintendogs. Yes, I have a Nintendog. She’s a chocolate colored Chihuahua named Keebler. I put an orange lily behind her ears. I bought her a chewy Tiki doll. I take her for walks, I brush her, I throw little rubber bones for her. I get the biggest kick out of how she struts about, all 3/4 of an inch of her, with her nose and tail in the air. My son has to pry his Nintendo DS out of my hands once I get going with little Keebler, my sassy sassafrass wittle ittle girlie… uh… ahem. Well.

keebler

Okay, that leads me to…

2) Super Mario Galaxy. No, I don’t play this amazing Wii game, but beg my son to whenever I see him turning on the Wii. If he balks, I break out the big guns. I wheedle: “Who loves you more than anyone? You’re so good at Mario! Come on, I’ll let you stay up la-aaate.” I love navigating while my son works the controls. I’m enchanted by the soothing, trippy music, the colors, the neverending galaxies, the star bits, everything. I mean, come on, Mario in a bee suit! Chubby stars that want to be fed star bits! You know you’d love it too!

super-mario-galaxy-wp

3) I eat peanut butter and bologna sandwiches. What? That’s right, I said peanut butter and bologna sandwiches. God! It sounds gross even to me! It didn’t always, so perhaps I’ll eventually grow out of this disgusting habit (when, at 82?). Only one of my friends really knows about this, and it sicks her out completely (sorry Heather) so I won’t eat them when company is around. In fact, it’s rare for me to have both peanut butter and bologna in the house at the same time. However, I will not lie. If those two things are in my house, there is a 100% chance that I will be making a sandwich out of those ingredients. Hey, at least it’s not a snack of pickles and milk. Oh wait, I eat that too. (Not as a soup, just complementing each other at the table. I’m not that gross!) I could not, for the life of me, find a photo of a peanut butter & bologna sandwich, but I did manage to find this photo – of peanut butter-stuffed hot dogs. Genius!

peanut-butter-wieners-004-500x375

4) Sleeping the day away on the weekends. It’s terrible, I know. We only get so many days on this earth to enjoy, and I should be up with the birds, watching the sun rise, sipping coffee in my garden. It sounds so right, so appealing, so….fucking impossible. It would be liberating to have the whole entire day to live life to the fullest. But dang it all. I can’t leave my memory foam before 11:00 am most weekend days. I’m a complete a night owl. Every Friday after work I say, “I’m going to go to bed at a decent hour tonight so that I can wake up early and seize the day!” only to look at the clock in horror at 2 AM and realize I’ve done it again. I want to rock and roll all night and sleep all day, if I may customize the meme.

5) Translating is a hobby for many people. Some interpret hieroglyphics, maps, languages, art. I translate Tori Amos songs. It’s true. I’ll get stuck on a song for days at a time, looking for the meaning. This may sound weird but honestly it’s a challenge. Try it for yourself on this sample lyric from “Mr. Zebra” off Boys for Pele:

Furry mussels marching on
She thinks she’s Kaiser Wilhelm
Or a civilized syllabub
To blow your mind

Entrancing, is it not? For this reason I have fallen way behind on Tori’s albums. I don’t have the latest. I do have her second to latest, but haven’t even listened to it – I’m still only halfway through the Beekeeper. I thought my obssession would get a break when she released a cover album, but alas, I found myself trying to translate her interpretations of the songs. At least I can appreciate the irony.

6) LOLcats. Yes, talking animals. You may or may not be familiar with such websites as icanhascheezburger.com or ihasahotdog.com but I’m a complete addict of cute animal pictures. I annoy friends and family members with emails of the latest LOLcat that made me LOL. I hotlink them to forums. I find myself creating invisible captions over the heads of my own helpless pets. I realize the whole talking animals thing is completly contradictory to my adamant stance against anthropomorphizing animals. I can’t explain it. OMGLOLZ!1!! I heart LOLcats.

So there you have it. There’s more but you’ve had enough, I can tell. Feel free to leave comments… but no need to criticize. I get enough from my cat.

udisgust

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Responses

  1. peanut butter filled hot dogs? ? ?

  2. I know, right? It made me feel not so bad about myself. ha!


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